Inside the Mind of a Spammer
I really want to know: how do spammers make money?
When someone leaves a comment on my blog like “What a Tuesday!” or “skdfjsldk 123231 go to,” what is the payoff? When hundreds of junk e-mails crowd random inboxes, what is the benefit to the mail senders? I understand the ones with website links; they’re trying to drive up their linkage rating or draw people to their advertising. But what about the other ones?
If you have some secret window into the spammer’s world, please let me in. I can’t for the life of me figure it out!
Filed under blogging, questions, the everyday | Comments (3)Let’s Get Something Straight: Is It Just Money?
My 47-year-old coworker K tells me her husband is the cheapest man alive. He’s the one making her work part-time and he’s the one worried about their income. He’s in sales, she hasn’t said in what industry, and commands a high salary. So when she’s angry with him, she tells me, she spends his money.
“The kids had a great Christmas this year because I was mad at my husband,” she says. “They got all sorts of stuff.”
The rest of us laugh like crazy when she shares these stories. She’s a wonderfully sweet woman who loves her children, you can tell, and she is easy to work with, easy to laugh with. We split our sides at the thought of her, crazy with a credit card, packaging purchases to make a point. We laugh too, I think, because we are shocked and surprised and maybe a little jealous that she can be so open about her financial habits. Who admits, out loud and without embarrassment, that she spends in frustration? Who admits she does something a little unwise with her money?
I, for example, don’t tell my coworkers that for a first date I almost always want a new outfit. I don’t say that I could probably shop every weekend without getting bored or that right about now I’m itching to take a trip somewhere. My other coworker T avoided for weeks telling us that she used to eat on $3 a day, back when she was starting out, that she has been living under a drug-dealer in order to keep her $425/month rent, that her parents practically threw her out the door at 18.
It’s hard to talk about money.
I submit that one of the big reasons we don’t talk about money is the same reason I love to PF-blog. It’s very, very personal. And because it’s personal, there’s big opportunity for approval, intimacy, judgment and, largely, rejection. I love the anonymity of my site (which I’ve questioned sometimes and truthfully still catch myself worrying about and then censoring my words) because I can, in theory, say anything without being judged. Or, if someone does judge, he or she doesn’t really know me anyway.
Money is hard for people to discuss because it affects so much of life: where you live, how you live, potentially how you feel about yourself and your friends.
I’d like to change this, sometimes. I’d like to out-with-it and tell the world my financial status. I’d like to start a trend of it’s-just-money thoughts among my friends. But I fear that’s not possible. I fear what would really happen is I would bare all and regret it.
I guess, bottom line, is there’s a part of me that fears what it would do to my relationships and how it would hurt them. Because while it is just money, and money’s not life, my friendships are valuable and delicate and worth preserving.
Filed under blogging, communication, questions, relationships | Comment (0)What’s Your Earliest Money Memory?
Recently, I acquired Suze Orman’s Nine Steps to Financial Freedom through paperbackswap.org. The first part of the book invites you to think back to your earliest money memory: when you were a child, did you feel worried, ashamed, desperate for money? She asks a series of questions, all intended to glean information from your past. This, she says, is key in discovering your deepest associations with finances.
What were the best presents you remember receiving as a child?
Did your friends have things you didn’t?
Did both of your parents have to work, and did your friends’ moms not have to?
Were you ashamed to bring your friends home?
Did your friends have nicer clothes, toys, etc.?
Did you hear your parents fight about money?
For me, my earliest memory, as far as I’ve been able to think back, is of being embarrassed to have a nice house. It sounds a little funny to say now, but childhood perspective is very different. My parents lived in an upper middle class neighborhood, but most of my friends from private school lived in smaller or less expensive homes. I wanted desperately to just be the same as everyone else, to blend in and not be noticed for where I lived.
When my parents built the house we live in now, random teachers would ask me how it was coming along. I mean, teachers who’d never taught me or who’d taught me a long time ago–who never talked to me otherwise–knew about the house and wanted to ask about it. This was another way I felt singled out and resented it.
What about you?
Filed under a deeper look at life, financial resources, questions | Comments (3)Awkward Situation: Restaurant Etiquette
If this were you, what would you do?
We were out for dinner Friday night, at a new Chinese restaurant we’d read rave reviews about. It was classy, elegant, with streamlined decor and square white plates. The neighborhood wasn’t the greatest, but the food made up for it: delicious, super-fast, beautiful.
Our waiter was available, but not pushy. He gave advice honestly, not in that way where you know they are just saying it. We liked him, we liked the food, we were very satisfied.
The check came: $28-something. We paid in cash (two twenties), and they brought us back change: a $10 bill a $1 bill and change.
We had no other cash to tip with.
We went up to the counter, asked if we could get the $10 broken, and they said no. I don’t remember why now. So what could we do?
$2 is a very small tip, and $10 is ridiculously high. I mean, the food was good and we liked our waiter, but $10 on a $28 meal?
Before I tell you what we decided, tell me: what would you do?
Filed under food, questions | Comments (4)emergency fund
Through the pf world, I’ve been reading for months about emergency funds. A lot of bloggers have sections in their sidebar that track their progress. I’ve decided it’s a good idea and want to start one.
Help!
If you have an emergency fund, what are you saving the money in? An ING? Something else? I want it to be something that gains interest and something that I can liquidate easily. Any advice/suggestions are appreciated. If I can get you a referral bonus or something, let me know.
Filed under emergency fund, investing, questions | Comments (15)
