So I Have This Friend (or, on mooching)
What do you do when, say, a friend comes to visit and suggests you go to THAT restaurant with the amazing food and the great atmosphere, the one that makes delicious food but hits your wallet big-time? Then, say, this friend orders an entree and drinks and more drinks and a side of this and a bit of that, laughing it up and saying how good it all is, only to say, when the bill comes, that she can’t cover it?
You only ordered something small, because, well, you’re on a budget after all. And your friend says something about how she doesn’t make much money and it’s hard to find good work and you know? Maybe you can help her out?
This happens to me sometimes. Not frequently, and not with a lot of people. But with some people very frequently, in fact with one particular person all the time. I’ll know I can spend $10, so I’ll order something small; Friend knows she has $10 in her wallet but orders something big, knowing I can help her, if it comes to that.
I don’t mind giving to my friends; in fact, I believe in it. But maybe there’s some kind of line we can cross with giving. Maybe at some point, giving becomes excusing? Maybe at some point, my “sure, here’s another $10″ becomes “you don’t have to be responsible for what you do”?
This same friend has been looking for a better job, on and off, for almost a year. She makes $8 now, so, yeah, she doesn’t have much money. So what do I do? I offer to help her with her resume, thinking that this could help her get a better job, help her make better money. I spend three hours one Friday night beefing it up and reorganizing and formatting, etc. I send it to her and say, voila! like she’ll fall over herself gushing with praise. She doesn’t respond. She never says if she’ll use it.
The truth is, she never asked me to look at her resume. It was my idea, my plan to help her get in a better financial situation. In other words, it’s what I’d want someone to do for me. Just like I’d want someone to help me if I needed money, though, to be honest, I’d never, ever, not-in-a-million-years order something I knew I didn’t have the money for. I wish someone had helped me make a resume when I was frustrated, desperate for a job. I wish someone had given me advice and guidance to getting the right position. I wish someone would help me when I feel like I need it.
But do I wish that only because I’m looking back? I mean, if I hadn’t done anything, would that have meant I needed help that no one gave or that I didn’t want it (the jobs/resumes/whatever) enough?
What do you think? Can you give too much to your friends? Is there a way to know if you can? And how do you train yourself to stop helping people who don’t want you to? How do you love them enough to say, You can do it yourself? How do you love them enough to say, Sure, I’ll pay for it again?
Filed under a deeper look at life, budgeting, communication, money stories, questions, relationships | Comments (10)Introducing… the College Money Network!
I’m thrilled to announce to you the launch of a brand-new PF network, set around the theme of money and college. There are six members (including yours truly), and we are college students, grad students or recent grads.
The College Money Network is a place where we’ll pool our information, giving you the best content we can, all about money, school and being a 20-something in the midst of it all.
Here are the other members (you’ll also notice a list on my sidebar):
- Broke-Ass Student || http://www.brokeass-student.com
- Broke Grad Student || http://www.brokegradstudent.com/
- Green Panda Treehouse || http://www.greenpandatreehouse.com/
- MFA or Bust || http://mfaorbust.blogspot.com/
- Poorer Than You || http://poorerthanyou.com/
Money Hackers Carnival #20, Chicago style
Welcome to this week’s Money Hacks carnival! Putting my own Chicago spin on the list, I’m showcasing some of the city’s sights, compliments of Flickr. Enjoy!
EDITOR’s PICKS 
along the Chicago River/Trump Tower, image by ChicagoEye
**J. Money presents Start Investing by 26, Retire a Millionaire by 67 posted at Budgets are Sexy. I totally agree. If there’s one thing this almost-26-year-old girl (I’m talking about me, here) knows, it’s that you should invest now.
**I couldn’t agree more with FMF, who presents How to Hire a Good Tax Professional posted at Free Money Finance. Personally, I found my fantastic, saves-me-tons-of-money accountant through a referral.
**Think looks don’t matter? Think again. Silicon Valley Blogger presents Get Hired, Get a Raise and Get Paid More By Improving Your Appearance posted at The Digerati Life.
***It’s always possible to start saving/investing, and this article shows you one way to do so. FFB presents A CD Ladder Plan For Beginning Savers posted at Free From Broke.
**If you love your pet as much as I do, you’ll want to take a look at Amanda Milne’s The Undeniable Pet Insurance posted at Value For Your Life.
CAREER/INCOME,
with the foggy Windy City, ala truello
Paul Piotrowski presents Why Does it Feel Like You’re Going Backwards posted at Inspired Money Maker.
BlogDebt presents Want extra money to save? Increase your means! posted at Blogging Down Debt | Becoming Debt Free One Post At a Time.
Passive Income Investor is inspiring with Monthly Passive Income Finally Breaks $3,000 Barrier posted at LIVING OFF DIVIDENDS & PASSIVE INCOME.
CREDIT/DEBIT with the city and its lights, photo taken by ir0cko
Madison presents Best Travel & Hotel Rewards Credit Cards posted at My Dollar Plan.
Card Blogger presents The Best Credit Cards posted at My Credit Card Blog.
Ken Clark, CFP presents Four Neighborhoods That Will Pay For Your Child’s College Education posted at Saving for College - About.com.
Ray presents How To Generate Valid Credit Card Numbers posted at Money Blue Book Personal Finance Blog.
Ryan Suenaga presents Money Hacks Challenge: Maximize Rewards or Time Your Cards? posted at Uncommon Cents.
Heather Allen presents Beware Online Credit Fraud posted at The DebtFree Playbook Blog.
GBlogger presents Is Big Brother Lowering Your Credit Because of Your Drinking? posted at CAN I GET RICH ON A SALARY.
INVESTING, next to the Sears Tower, 
taken by clearlyambiguous
Steve Faber presents - Stock Market Terms – The Top10 Market Terms You Need to Know (Part 1) posted at Debt Free.
MoneyEnergy presents Gold Dividends: 11 Mining Stocks That Pay Them posted at MoneyEnergy.
Todd presents Weber’s Law posted at HarvestingDollars.
The Shark Investor presents I’d Be The Growlingest Bear on the Internet If Only I Were a Bear posted at The Shark Investor.
Raag Vamdatt presents Residential / Commercial Property for a Non Resident Indian (NRI) :: RaagVamdatt.com :: Financial Planning demystified posted at RaagVamdatt.com.
The Financial Blogger presents How to trade commodities? posted at The Financial Blogger.
Slackerwealth presents Procter and Gamble, A Case for Going Long posted at A Slacker’s Quest for His First Million.
Joe Manausa presents Understanding Trends In Real Estate posted at Tallahassee Real Estate Blog.
SAVING MONEY, next to the beautiful Cloud Gate, photo by duchamp 
LAL presents Matter of Perspective posted at LivingAlmostLarge.
Sean talks about the subject on everyone’s mind lately with his Locking-In Low Gas Prices vs. Locking-In High Fuel Efficiency posted at Financial Ramblings.
Tanesha Morgan presents The Basics of Life Insurance posted at Personal Finance Analyst.
PFI presents Financial Benefits of a DVR posted at Passive Family Income.
Curt presents Trick Yourself into Saving Money posted at PennyJobs.com.
Lisa Spinelli presents “I Haven’t Saved a Dime,” or “Will I Have a Heart Attack When I Retire?” posted at Greener Pastures.
Dorian Wales presents 10 Tips on More Efficient and Economic Use of Air-Conditioners posted at The Personal Financier.
Anand presents How to Master Money & Wealth | Money Management posted at AnandDhillon.com - Self-Help for Self-Mastery.
Coupon Artist presents Stockpiling Food: How to Buy and Organize a Food Stockpile posted at artofthecoupon.com.
Anand presents How to Master Money & Wealth | The Key to Financial Freedom posted at Anand Dhillon’s Self-Help Blog.
Brooke asks for tips on saving money on school supplies, Halfway Thru Summer Already and… posted at Dollar Frugal. The winning tip will get a free one-month banner ad on her site.
Larry Russell presents Living Expense Tracking Methods posted at Pasadena Financial Planner.
admin presents Don’t Chase High Interest Rates posted at Best Interest Rate Banks.
Lauren presents 10 Tips on buying a new car or used car posted at FGC Auto Blog.
TAX & ECONOMY, with Navy Pier, compliments of cellycruz
jim presents How to Get Old W-2 and 1040 Tax Forms posted at Blueprint for Financial Prosperity.
The Happy Rock presents Have We Finally Hit Our Gas Price Tipping Point? posted at The Happy Rock.
KCLau presents How inflation affects your life? posted at KCLau’s Money Tips.
Toni Graybill presents The Road to Wealth is Stuff posted at Maximize Health and Wealth.
And, last but not least is everything else: RETIREMENT/ GENERAL / PHILOSOPHY / MONEY, next to a classic Chicago landmark, the Marshall Field’s clock, photo by liz_noise
Wanda Grindstaff presents Retirement or Lifestyle - It is Your Choice! posted at Creating Abundant Lifestyles.
Fred Black presents Toilet Paper Millionaire! posted at Fred Black: Internet Business Blog..
Cash Money Life bares all with What’s in Your Wallet? posted at Cash Money Life.
C. King presents Why Soft Selling Appeals To Cultures With High Femininity posted at Get International Clients.
So Cal Savvy presents A day at the beach posted at So Cal Savvy.
Aryn presents The Documents You Need: List of Accounts posted at Sound Money Matters.
Filed under carnivals, chicago, thrifty tips | Comments (28)161st Carnival of PF is up!
Just a quick post to send you over to the 161st Carnival of Personal Finance, hosted by the Budgeting Babe.
My post about finding a use for bridesmaids’ dresses is among the articles featured. Go take a look!
Filed under carnivals | Comment (0)It’s Saturday!
Ah, Saturdays. Don’t you just love the weekend?
I’m happy to say I survived the rest of my week, even after my crazy Wednesday. And, while I’m thrilled it’s Saturday and I can leave the office to fend for itself for a few days (or protect it from my insanity, depending on how you look at it), I’m still on-call, now with the family job, manning all my dad’s business calls for him while he’s on vacation.
While I work (and work, come Monday), here are some career-related blog posts that I enjoyed over the past few days. And, stayed tuned! Wednesday, I’ll be hosting the 21st Carnival for the Money Hackers Network, filled with some great articles–it’s not too late to submit your good stuff, too; go here!
How to Make Money This Summer for College Students at Broke Grad Student
Tweaking your resume? Here are some great action verbs to get you going, per Boston College
Woman to Woman: How to Get the Raise at Jezebel
I know a lot of people dream of walking out on their job. Green Panda Treehouse did just that. Read about it at I Resigned from my Job!
Filed under 9-5, Cool Sites | Comments (2)Paris, Au Revoir
A few months ago, my coworker was talking about going to Paris, saying I should join her. We’d sit at cafes and spend nights by the Eiffel Tower, practicing our bit of French and enjoying an escape. It was this fantastic, really fun, big-dream kind of conversation.
So just for fun, we looked at plane tickets, and they were pricey: around $1K usually, per person round-trip. That was way too much.
I knew I couldn’t afford a trip like that, at least not right now and with the goals I’ve set. So I told her, “Maybe if we could get tickets for $500,” half-serious. “Then it’d be a sign.”
About a month or so later, we found just that: round-trip tickets from Chicago to Paris, for about $500 each (plus tax). It was a good deal, all things considered, and I told her I’d think about it.
That’s when I realized it wasn’t the $500 difference that was stopping me, giving me hesitations. It was all the other things: spending a big chunk of my vacation time, using a big chunk of my savings, knowing I’d be doing all that for a few days in Paris, a city I like but wouldn’t say I love.
So I said no, and so did she. And come this fall, we’ll both be staying in Chicago. Paris, and Italy and Greece and Prague and all the other great places, will still be there later.
Filed under budgeting, travel | Comments (3)Do You Do Dumb Stuff at Work?
So, in the course of yesterday’s work day, my behavior was borderline freakish, I’m being serious. I honestly don’t know what was wrong with me, but I embarrassed myself not once, not twice, but a grand total of six times.
Here’s the rundown:
1. I misunderstood a caller’s name, talking with him for a good 10 minutes before realizing he wasn’t who I thought.
2. Once said caller realized I’d gotten confused and called me on it, I fumbled all over myself trying to explain.
3. After getting off the phone with him, I decided it was, definitely, a order-out-food day. So my coworker and I headed out. I took a wrong turn and got us almost lost.
4. Paying for my takeout at the restaurant, I knocked over the metal lid on the toothpick container, sending it bouncing onto the tile floors. Every head in the packed place turned to me.
5. I went down the parking lot lane the wrong way, almost hitting a car.
6. I messed up something in our records for the day.
And these are just the things I remember right now. Let’s be honest: I’m forgetting something, for sure.
Quick, someone: make me feel better. Tell me you do dumb stuff, too. Please?
Filed under 9-5, the everyday | Comments (12)Money Hacks Carnival #19
My recent post about loaning friends money (or not loaning, to be specific) is part of this week’s Money Hacks Carnival over at MoneyHackers.net.
Go on over and check it out!
Filed under carnivals | Comment (0)Quote of the Day, from Mark Twain
“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”
- Mark Twain
HT: Brip Blap
Filed under Uncategorized | Comments (2)I spend about $.10 per mile to commute
Squawkfox posted a handy tool the other day, the Gas-Mileage Calculator, which will show you just what gas prices are costing you.
I drive about 15 miles each way to work (give or take) and spend roughly $.10 each mile. In other words, I spend $3 a day (not counting tolls, which add another $1.60 each way) to commute to work.
On top of which, there’s the time factor: I spend 30 minutes there and 45 back. (TRAFFIC!!! AHH!)
Still better than public transportation for me, if only for convenience: I can leave as soon as work is done and get there just as it begins.
What about you?
Filed under 9-5, economy, financial resources, the everyday | Comments (7)
