Who Am I? (and other 20-something reflections)
Sometimes I feel like I’m still trying to figure out my place in the world, like where I fit, which is weirder and weirder as I get older.
City life, country life and suburban life all have strong appeal, and I could see myself doing any of them.
I like Europe and I like America; I like my career but I like the idea of working from home; I like living with my parents yet I think I’d like living on my own.
Is this how it’s supposed to feel to be a grown-up? Or is this a sign that it (the whole adult thing) hasn’t happened to me yet?
I have friends who, I’d swear up and down, feel completely at peace and confident of their life’s decisions. Friends who, for example, grew up knowing she wanted to get married right out of college or sooner and start a family. Friends who knew he would work in marketing and live downtown in a swanky condo. Friends who knew their dreams, all along, and made them happen.
I feel like those people are really blessed, because, at least in my opinion, the idea that you should just know what your real dreams are is a gigantic, enormous delusion that we’re told from childhood. Maybe it happens for some people, like the friends I mentioned, but it seems like a lot more people have to struggle to figure it out, with bumps along the way.
A friend of mine from college works two part-time jobs, both somewhat secretarial, while she holds a degree in linguistics. She is starting, stopping, starting, stopping plans on a daily basis: sending resumes and calling places where she could move and start something different. Thing is, how is she supposed to know what that something different should be, if it should be something?
Right now, I’m saving money, living with my family, working at a job I like and worked hard for. I hold two college degrees and like my resume. I have friends and entertainments and love and true joy. All in all, a very good, very blessed life.
And I can see what today, and tomorrow roughly, look like. It’s good. But ask me what I’ll be doing five years from now? 10? Absolutely no idea. Is this strange?
Then again, there’s a larger part of me that thinks maybe admitting I don’t know what will come is the actually most honest way to live, despite my age/career/income/family/etc. Even if I had a specific life track, a 15-year plan or whatever, I wouldn’t hold the future.
And, now that I think about it, maybe that’s a really valuable thing to learn and hold onto, especially when you’re all of 25.
Filed under 9-5, a deeper look at life |
6 Responses to “Who Am I? (and other 20-something reflections)”
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I don’t know what I’ll be doing in 5 or 10 years either. You really can’t. I have some ideas of what I would like, but plans will likely change.
I liked this post, thanks for sharing.
I liked what you said about admitting that you don’t know what wil come is the most honest way to live. A very true statement. Sometimes I forget that no matter the amount one puts into planning, one can never truly know what is going to happen. Life happens in between (and sometimes in spite of) plans.
I agree… you just can’t predict the future
I never could’ve known at 15 I’d turn out the way I did at 25.
Thank you
Am gonna link this in my next round of link love, and I’m adding you to my reader
I think your mid-20’s are supposed to be like this. At least that’s what I keep telling myself…anyway, don’t worry; you’re not alone. When I hit 20, I thought I was supposed to be a “grown-up,” and had a slight breakdown when I didn’t have everything all figured out (or even know what I wanted to do after college). At 24, I still have no idea, but I’m just trying to do what feels right for now, while trying to keep “The Future” in the back of my mind. And I think it’s good to keep in mind the fact that you can’t control the future, and while you may think you have it all figured out, things will inevitably change and you’ll have to figure it out all over again. So my opinion is that it’s best to live as much in the moment as possible, while still preparing yourself for the kind of future you think you might want to have. However that works.
I don’t think any one in their 20s has it all together. But a lot of people haven’t given up wanting to present that facade at that age. You just keep steering and swimming, swimming and steering until you find you’re going in the right direction.
I make plans and think about where I want to be. But I also had enough changes in past plans to know that a lot can happen in a short time. So I see a good plan as a motivator, but if it doesn’t work out I just go with the flow.
Sometimes amazing things happen when I get sidetracked and thrown off my original plan completely.