When Did We Stop Dreaming?
April 14th, 2008
I asked some six- and seven-year-olds recently what they want to be when they grow up. There were a lot of answers, with a general theme: grand. Several kids said they wanted to be more than one thing or that they couldn’t pick just one:
I want to be a doctor. And a college professor. And a veterinarian.
I want to be a crocodile hunter.
I will be an author.
At what age do you think we stop dreaming big? How many kids say: I want to be an accountant or an actuary or, heck, a copywriter?
My friend’s son grew up wanting to be a paleontologist, but he’s given up the dream. Why? My friend says it’s simple: money.
All of this makes me feel powerfully sad somehow.
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8 Responses to “When Did We Stop Dreaming?”
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I agree that it is powerfully sad. At this point in my life I really feel that a lot of people my age don’t dream anymore. Everyone seems so busy trying to catch up in terms of money, materials, and even family. I never really understood the term “rat race” before when I was younger, but now it is much clearer.
I was thinking about this a while back. It makes me smile thinking about how things were as kids…
I agree with Joey, the rat race is alarmly clear to me now that I’m in my 20’s and taking care of my own money. I’m lucky that I’m still young enough to NOT be caught in that race yet (or a hedonistic treadmill), and I can step back and decide what I really need and want in my life.
I like how one of them said “I WILL be an author.” I hope he/she makes it!!!
I too wanted to become a paleontologist when I grew up … but the dream died when I realized the $$ wasn’t there. It’s kind of sad, but I love the career path I’m on right now, and I rarely ever think about it anymore. Even though it would still be cool as heck to be a paleontologist.
I’m what I wanted to be when I grew up and I’m well paid for it.
In my experience, a lot of kids fall away when they realize there’s a lot of work and competition involved in whatever their dream job is. It’s really hard to make it through the tough courses and get into veterinary school. It is incredibly hard to make it to astronaut training. Most people don’t ever put themselves into the position of being turned down, though: they give up before they ever hit the hard stuff.
I like the way you put it, FGS. You make excellent points. And I guess I know all that mentally–that the real reason very often is people don’t want to work really hard to make their dreams happen.
It’s still sad.
I dunno. I used to would have thought it was sad, but in the last few years I have been spending a lot of time reading and thinking about leading. If you look around you, most of the time people– even successful people– want someone to take charge, come up with a plan, and say “Ok, everyone, listen up, here’s what we’re going to do.”
Many people’s dreams put them in that take-charge position: the trusted one, the guardian, the hero. But in real life, it’s unnerving to step up. And that’s ok: if you’re made out of meat, stepping up is a pretty good way to get eaten by the lions. Better to hang back and live to breed another day.
I don’t think it’s disingenuous to go with an evolutionary metaphor here: most people want to have a peaceful life and a family. Most childhood dreams are incompatable with that desire.
Mostly, I think, people’s underlying dream is one of being ok. Just plain being ok. And (in the developed world, at least), it’s pretty easy to achieve that. Lucky us!
Sometimes people don’t give up on their dreams completely–they just find a more realistic way to realize them. When I was a kid, I dreamed of being a writer and/or working as an editor at Penguin Books (or some other such major publisher) in NYC. Well, I haven’t made it to NYC yet, but I am an editor at a major book publishing company in St. Louis.
My life isn’t exactly as I pictured it, but I didn’t (and won’t) give up on my dreams.
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