What Do You Really, Really, Really Want from Your Money?

That was the question in a financial article I read recently. The irony is that I don’t remember much of the article–just the title. I immediately started asking myself how I’d answer the question, rolling it around in my mind later that day and continuing right now.

What do I want from money? There are the easy answers: my sidebar goals, for one thing. But saving for a down payment, a vacation, an emergency fund, even for retirement–these aren’t things I really, really want. I mean, I want them. But I want them because I want something(s) deeper.

What?

The best answer I’ve been able to create so far is something somewhat generic: freedom. I want the freedom of many, many choices. I want to be able to, say, get in a car accident without going into debt, horrible as that sounds. I want to have a roof over my head at some point that I paid for. I want to travel Europe, visit good friends, buy gifts for those I love and those who need help. I want to redecorate, to eat deliciously, to be prepared. I really, really want money to work for me to its fullest extent. I want to make a difference in the world–and in eternity. I want to give it all away; I want to save it. I want to take two months off working between jobs; I want to seamlessly transition into my next position.

It’s funny, I think, how talking about what I want from money is similar to talking about what I want in life. It’s vague sometimes, not because there aren’t specific goals (stick with this job for at least a year; continue growing in my knowledge/career; love and be loved; give; think eternally), but because I don’t quite know yet how those specific goals all fit together.

So I spend one day at a time, one dollar at a time, not knowing precisely how these investments and allocations will all work out in the end. Is it strange, I sometimes wonder, that I don’t have a clear image of myself ten years from now, or even five?

For the Records

This past week, my new Blackberry and I have gotten to know each other. We’re already very close. I find myself adding new information (task: get hair cut!, appointment: interview 1 PM Friday; new phone # for friend X) all the time. I’m trying very hard to stay strong and not get the unnecessary data plan ($30/month). But I want one.

Still haven’t bought any clothes since early February. This is big for me. I’m testing myself to see if I can actually wear every item of clothing I own before buying anything new. So far so good, though I do feel the itch to shop. Seriously.

Target took back the shelves with no problem. Ah, Target. Now for the walls.

Work’s going fine. We’re busy, I love my coworkers, spring has given us daylight to drive home in. But I’m still thinking, wondering about what I want to do in the future.

My tax refund came last week, auto-deposited into my account. I sent it all to the ER fund.

And those are my latest updates. Sometimes I feel these boring little bits of info aren’t worth posting, but I figure: it’ll be nice to have this to look back on.

Home Decorating = ER Fund Spending

Sometimes I really feel like an idiot.

I got this idea in my head that I really wanted some of those floating wall shelves on this vacant wall in my bedroom. I looked around at prices, comparing Target, Amazon, Linen N’ Things, Wal-Mart, Meijer and all the other discount home-type places. Target was the winner.

Tuesday night, I bought three 36-inch shelves, each for $25.

Tonight, I tried hanging them, and I’ll spare you the details except to say this: now I have two rather large holes in the wall, drywall I had to vacuum, a broken shelf and busted screws. Two other people were involved, and they’re not happy either.

It’s just a big, disappointing, frustrating pain in the neck. Now I have to pay to fix the wall, on top of trying to talk Target into letting me return their shoddy stuff.

Good thing I have an emergency fund.

More on Budgeting Software

Thanks for all the great advice on personal finance software! I bought a copy of Quicken at Sam’s Club, took it home, couldn’t get it to sync my bank accounts and returned it.

Now I’m using Mint.com. It’s free and does everything the Quicken online did, so I canceled my Quicken. I also still have my Excel budget and my envelopes in Snowmint.

Have you tried Mint? It’s really fantastic (and again: free!). All I had to do was insert my accounts, and it’s categorized all my spending for me. It tracks my ING accounts and my bank accounts in one neat place.

I bought a Blackberry!

I really shouldn’t let myself play on eBay. The other night, I was looking through phones (mine is really on its last leg) and couldn’t believe how cheap Blackberries were. So I bid on one.

And I won it. $30, plus shipping and handling, for a grand total of $48.

I’m told it will be a fantastic personal organizer.

Resurrection Weekend: Victory

from Matthew 28:

5The angel said to the women, “Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. 6He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay. 7Then go quickly and tell his disciples: ‘He has risen from the dead and is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him.’ Now I have told you.”

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Redeemed.

I know that my Redeemer liveth, and that He shall stand at the latter day upon the earth; and though worms destroy this body yet, in my flesh shall I see God. For now is Christ risen from the dead, the first-fruits of them that sleep.

Resurrection Weekend: the Cross

Redeem, from M-W.com

Main Entry: re·deem

Pronunciation: \ri-?d?m\

Function: transitive verb

1 a: to buy back : repurchase b: to get or win back2: to free from what distresses or harms: as a: to free from captivity by payment of ransom b: to extricate from or help to overcome something detrimental c: to release from blame or debt : clear d: to free from the consequences of sin 3: to change for the better : reform

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Surely He hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows! He was wounded for our transgressions; He was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement of our peace was upon Him. And with His stripes we are healed.

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Galatians 3:12-14

12But the law is not of faith, rather^(A) “The one who does them shall live by them.” 13Christ^(B) redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us—for it is written,^(C) “Cursed is everyone who is hanged^(D) on a tree”— 14so that in Christ Jesus the blessing of Abraham might^(E) come to the Gentiles, so that^(F) we might receive^(G) the promised Spirit^[a] through faith.

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I Love Potlucking.

Turns out potlucks aren’t just good for my wallet (and they are!). The benefits keep on coming: I’m cooking again (hooray!), I’m bonding with my workmates, and I’m learning a little about creativity.

What have I been making?

Well, first there was the challah bread, then the knock-off Red Lobster biscuits. Next up: my favorite, trusty, delicious Greek chicken pitas. Tomorrow, the department potluck is on hold while we celebrate a baby shower–I’m bringing a fruit salad (gingered, from the Better Homes & Gardens book).

Cooking is fun, I’m remembering.

So tell me (I’m leaning over, whispering to you): do you have a potluck standby I should try? Tell me!

Is It OK to Hide Money from Your Spouse? (and other such questions)

Lately, every radio station I click has something to say about money, from telling me 55% of women in my age bracket don’t have $500 in their bank accounts to advising that getting out of debt is financial priority #1. This morning on my way to work, I caught a call-in session regarding the question that provoked this post’s title: Is it OK to hide money from your spouse or significant other, and, what’s more, do you do it?

 Turns out it was provoked by this recent article in USA Today: “Money, fidelity go hand in hand,” which, essentially, likens physical fidelity with financial. It quotes a relationship therapist who says all the people in her practice commiting adultery are also financially deceptive, from hidden charges to fund the extra relationship to other things. And it goes on to cite all kinds of statistics: 62% of married respondents feel a secret credit card is a major violation of trust, and 6% of marrieds feel it’s grounds for divorce.

I found it interesting, if fairly unapplicable to my current situation. It got me thinking about the root of hiding money issues from the person one is closest to, the person one shares everything with. Why would someone want that?

Then I thought maybe it stems from the same reasons I like to have new clothes and enjoy spending money when I want to–there’s something in all of us that wants to decide autonomously, without judgment.

Incidentally, on the way back home tonight, I caught another talk show while flipping stations. This one, I don’t even know who the hosts were, had a man call in to discuss the discrimination in our current divorce system, while he sat outside his own home, holed up in his car.

“Why do women get more money?” he wanted to know. “I mean, what makes them deserve that?”

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