What’s Your Earliest Money Memory?

Recently, I acquired Suze Orman’s Nine Steps to Financial Freedom through paperbackswap.org. The first part of the book invites you to think back to your earliest money memory: when you were a child, did you feel worried, ashamed, desperate for money? She asks a series of questions, all intended to glean information from your past. This, she says, is key in discovering your deepest associations with finances.

What were the best presents you remember receiving as a child?
Did your friends have things you didn’t?
Did both of your parents have to work, and did your friends’ moms not have to?
Were you ashamed to bring your friends home?
Did your friends have nicer clothes, toys, etc.?
Did you hear your parents fight about money?

For me, my earliest memory, as far as I’ve been able to think back, is of being embarrassed to have a nice house. It sounds a little funny to say now, but childhood perspective is very different. My parents lived in an upper middle class neighborhood, but most of my friends from private school lived in smaller or less expensive homes. I wanted desperately to just be the same as everyone else, to blend in and not be noticed for where I lived.

When my parents built the house we live in now, random teachers would ask me how it was coming along. I mean, teachers who’d never taught me or who’d taught me a long time ago–who never talked to me otherwise–knew about the house and wanted to ask about it. This was another way I felt singled out and resented it.

What about you?

BH & G

Frugal food tip for this week: do whatever you can to get your hands on the all-time best cookbook ever: The Better Homes & Gardens New Cookbook.

It came recommended to me by a friend and I love it. Every recipe I’ve tried turns out perfectly, every time, without fail.

If I could only have one cookbook, this would be the cookbook.

wednesday: better outlook, still questions

I enjoy Wednesdays. After a Wednesday’s over, it’s practically the weekend, and the downhill surge has begun. Finishing seems to come easier than starting, in the work-week sense at least.

Today, I’m especially happy for my Wednesday, and that’s because it precedes a glorious day off tomorrow. In exchange for this day off, I had to work last Saturday, which meant a six-day week, which meant a more tired me. That, combined with fewer hours of sleep each night, extra responsibilities that the holidays bring and a few random interactions got me into that depressing funk that contributed to my overall discouragement late Sunday night.

It’s funny that being honest seems less frightening when you’re being honest with strangers, or mostly strangers. Writing from the perspective of anonymity emboldens. I’m not sorry for what I wrote, since it was true; nor do I think I’ll never feel that way again, or even that the feeling has completely left me now.

But it was cleansing to write it down and publish it. It was comforting to know that some mysterious internet void would eat up my words and digest them, like they mattered. And it was healing to read your comments (and e-mail, sweet K, who brought tears to my eyes). All of your advice was taken, gratefully, and I appreciate your concern.

I’m very blessed, with much to be thankful for, I know. It’s just that right now, I’m a little over-busy and a little over-lonely. It will pass, and it will return, and it will pass again.

I’m telling the One who cares, and I’m clinging to precious Truths I know. Right now, that’s very good.

her questions

How can someone have so little free time, her hours filled with commuting, working, eating, meeting, organizing, sleeping; yet feel so lonely, her thoughts before bed drifting to wishes and dreams and friendships that were or might be and her fears hinging on always eating alone, always planning alone, always wondering?

How can a life full of acquaintances equal a life with few friends? How can people she sees everyday seem like strangers and people she once knew have strange lives now, completely removed from her own?

Will she keep working—hourly, weekly, monthly—keep striving—to save, to give, to prepare—keep longing—for things her work and her savings, however faithful or strong, cannot give her?

Money can’t buy happiness, she knows, she knows. But she has to have money to pay for food and things, she has to work for the money, and so she has no time, so she is alone. And she’s tired. Tired and lonely and saving more and more money. And for what?

How can she be getting what she wants and not getting what she wants at all?

Christmas Gifts You Can Bake

I have half a mind to run out and buy the ingredients for these recipes. I’d love to do an all-night baking fest sometime soon. So far I’ve tried the pecans… the others are on my list!

Toasted Pecans

Chocolate Pretzels

Peppermint Bark

Hazelnut Crunch

Thoughtful Christmas Gifts under $1

A few years ago, I saw a Martha Stewart gift idea in the Chicago Tribune: holiday CDs with style. She gets full credit, but right now I’m going completely off memory. It’s an easy, inexpensive way to give thoughtfully to a large amount of people: think teachers, hosts, co-workers, etc.

The following directions will create 80 CD gifts, with 20 CD-Rs/labels leftover for your own use. Enjoy!

Supplies:
100 CDs (you’ll have 20 left over for yourself) 2 packs of 50 Blank CD-Rs: $24.00
80 CD labels 2 packs of 40 CD Labels: $26.00
100 CD sleeves (you’ll have 20 left over for yourself) 100 CD envelopes: $2.45
Your own holiday mix of songs (price varies based on what you purchase): est. $15
Your own Christmas pictures (think scenes. I used a B & W of downtown Chicago, a clip art of snowflakes and something else): free
Paper (preferably card stock): if you’re like me, you already have some
A computer printer with ink: again, check.

Approximate Total cost: $67.45 ($0.84 each)

Directions:
1. Following the CD label directions, print 80 labels with the Christmas photos you’ve chosen. The CDs will look awesome–and it’s so easy!
2. Compile a list of Christmas tunes via your favorite music player (iTunes for me).
3. Burn the list onto your CDs.
4. Create a printable mix list that fits into the envelopes.
5. Slide the CDs and mix lists into envelopes.
6. Seal, and you’re good to go!

Hint: You may also want to affix a holiday sticker on the back for extra style. I stuck these in with Christmas cards two years ago, and it was a big hit!

Baking Christmas

My grandma was a master baker.

Every year, she stacked dozens of aluminum tins on the stairs to her attic. There were round ones and square ones and big ones and little ones; red ones and green ones and scenic ones with horsemen and Christmas pictures. Then, for the weeks leading up to December 25th, she hunkered down and baked: fudge, sugar cookies, snowballs, chocolate chip cookies, kolachkys, bars, peanut butter cookies. If she found out what you liked, you’d get it every year. If you were a relative, a friend, maybe even the girl who cut her hair or an acquaintance from a club, you’d get something.

When I remember my grandma, I remember her food. It’s funny, looking back, that I don’t remember anything I bought with the yearly $100 she also gave at every birthday to me, her only granddaughter. I don’t remember ever opening a wrapped gift from her–that wasn’t really her style.

But what I do remember are delicious, homecooked meals on glass plates while we watched I Love Lucy. I do remember homemade spaghetti sauce and garlic bread. I remember cookies; oh, I remember the cookies. Not only did she bake for me, she baked with me.

Grandma gave me my first cookie lesson, and from the first time I licked the bowl and sampled chocolate chips, I was hooked. She taught me to enjoy food and to give other people that enjoyment. She taught me to savor, to embrace, to love.

She gave me something that I could keep even after she died. She gave me a way to feel connected to her, even now, almost a decade after she left me.

I’m baking Christmas this year, the way she did, the way I always will.

Creativity: Make a List

It’s easy for daily tasks to become routine: our jobs, our families, our way of life in general. With my job especially I’m sensitive to this, as accepting in-the-box, routine ways of doing things greatly hinders creativity. When I just let myself keep doing the same thing all the time, I get stagnant. I don’t look for new ways, new ideas, some kind of change. And that means I’m losing my edge and not growing forward.

That’s why I really like a recent post at this site (look for “tackle any issue with a list of 100″) that I came across: it gives a specific, tangible way to get your mind thinking creatively. Take a topic–any topic–and make yourself write 100 ways, things, ideas that are related. My pastor’s big on the 100 Things to Be Thankful for List. At my company, I want 100 Ways to Make the Department Better or 100 Ways to Write More Creatively or 100 Ideas for Catching my Editing Mistakes.

What about you? Have you tried this? I’m in the midst of one, and it’s a great exercise. When you start, you think you’ll have all these great ideas… and around 40 or so, you hit a wall. What’s so cool is breaking through that wall and discovering *new* and creative possibilities. Try it!

dear winter: we are so not friends anymore.

At first, it was cute: the snowflakes, the chill in the air, the Christmas music that stations played prematurely. For years, I liked you and your holidays. I liked wearing sweaters and cute coats, sipping hot coffee or peppermint hot cocoa. When you would come back into my life each year, I could anticipate coming home from college or getting a break from homework. You signaled a respite, a getaway, a break.

Of course, there were problems. There are always problems. But I learned to deal with my skin cracking, my ears turning red, my body repeatedly freezing and thawing between buildings and errand stops. I got used to wearing extra layers and shivering under my down comforter at night.

Last year was the hardest, probably: commuting to classes where I walked a ways to get there, my few inches of exposed face would redden and chill with the harshness of your cold. My eyes watered, my lips chapped. It was ugly.

This year, we’ve only just begun, you and I. Yet you’re already pulling your old tricks, winter, and I’m sick of it. Saturday, downtown, you hit us so hard with snow that our car skid and slid and got stuck in a parking space. Icicles hardened on the car while we drove. I was scared, scared the way I was when my car flipped on your icy roads, scared the way I was when I slipped on frozen sidewalks.

I guess what I’m saying is I’ve had enough, and I want you gone. Yet if past experience is any indicator, you won’t leave easily. I imagine I have a good three months or more to deal with your bitter, bitter temperatures and continually threatening elements. I’ll feel like napping at four o’clock in the afternoon because it’s getting dark outside. I’ll have to work on Christmas Eve.  I’ll waste personal time by shoveling snow from the driveway.

You may win this year, but it’s not over. Someday, winter, I’ll go somewhere where you can’t mess with me anymore: somewhere beautiful like California or a beachy town in  a resort community. I’m just biding my time, still looking for a way out. It will come at some point, and I’ll be gone so fast you won’t remember me. Someday, winter. Someday.

5 Ways to Impress Your Boss

1. Take Initiative: Understand what your boss’s overall goals are for the department, and look for ways to make them happen. Without overstepping your boundaries and in a “hey, what do you think?” manner, suggest ideas/resources/projects that will make the department run better.

2. Show What You Do: Send your boss monthly progress updates that detail what you’ve accomplished. This is particularly effective if you’re a manager, and you can explain what the department has done. Give tangible, specific data. Your boss will appreciate the info and will recognize what you’re doing.

3.  Never Be Late: As in never, ever, short of a genuine emergency. Whatever you do, don’t call in late/sick when you’re not; if your boss finds out, you look like an idiot. Don’t believe me? Well then at least don’t make your Facebook profile public and disprove your alibi. I know what I’m talking about; someone really did this.

4. Remember What You’re Told: Keep a list, send yourself reminders, write down every new bit of instruction–do whatever you have to to remember your guidelines. Your boss will love if you do everything right the first time, and it will put you way ahead of the pack.

5. Be Flexible: When someone else calls in sick, be the employee who’s willing to work that day instead. If you’re not able to take exactly/all the vacation days you wanted because other people will be out or because the work load is too heavy, accept that. Show your employer that you are committed to your position, even above convenience. Again, this will make you stand out, and your boss will notice.