things
During the same week that we broke up, just a day or two after actually, my ex gave me a bracelet from Tiffany’s. He wrote me a nice note about how he wanted me to have it, and when I thanked him he said he was glad he gave it to me. I looked online; it cost over $300.
I was wearing it today, thinking again how while the idea behind his gift was very sweet, the gift itself was so far from who I am, it makes sense we broke up.
He was all into price: our first Christmas, we’d been dating just a month or so, and he bought me an enormous (three trays full!) box of Godiva chocolate. He reasoned that price = level of relationship. If you sort of liked someone, buy them dinner. If you’re in a relationship, buy them $150 worth of chocolate. And when you break up but agree to stay friends even though you know you won’t, send the robin’s egg blue box.
Like I said, it was sweet, and his heart was in the right place, I think.
But if he knew me, he’d know I’d much rather have a four-piece $12 box of chocolate than a giant one. I’d much rather sit and talk than receive an extravagant gift. This isn’t so much an I’m-so-unmaterialistic thing. I like presents. But I like presents that show thought more than expense. I’d rather get a $20 bottle of shampoo I want but never buy for myself (because it shows you know what I wish for) than a corral of designer perfumes worth hundreds. Anyone can buy the chocolate, the flowers, the Tiffany’s.
With Christmas coming, gift-giving is on everyone’s mind, it seems. I’m wondering what to get my parents, who have everything, or my brother, who likes nothing. Should I get my employees something? What am I giving my Sunday school kids?
And in the rushing, hurrying, planning, I forget what I’m gifting for: to show I care about them specifically. I think the holidays could use a few more heartfelt letters and a few less generic boxes.
How are you combating the commercialism of the holiday? Do you have any strategies for gifting to share?
Filed under gifting, relationships |
5 Responses to “things”
Leave a Reply
here is the best tip I’ve learned about gifts. The best gift you can give is the gift or surprise.
It’s awesome to be surprised and it shows that you thought about it a lot, prepared, etc. etc.
The best presents I’ve given aren’t necessarily the most expensive, but they were the ones where she had no idea it was coming.
Forget the dude. Never feel guilty about Tiffany’s!
“I like presents. But I like presents that show thought more than expense.” - Indeed, that’s pretty much the motto at our house. I might venture so far as to say our entire marriage is based on that premise.
Both of us are puzzled by the need for the diamond ring as some sort of testament of love and commitment (especially giving the awful and brutal history behind them). Despite the “thought” we each put into the other when we do get gifts, each of us prefer to be able to get something we desire for ourselves instead of necessarily require that the other person guess as what the other MIGHT want. Still, it a gift is in order, then some thought into the matter is more important the expense. (The one expensive gift I did get, well, she found a refurb of it for $300 less than a new one, which was just as exciting as the gift to me. [It was an espresso machine.])
In regards to xmas, well, we gave up on that a long time ago. And we have informed our families that they should not ever expect anything more than token gifts from us if anything at all.
[...] Just another example of how thoughtfulness more than compensates for cost. [...]
[...] another example of how thoughtfulness more than compensates for cost. Filed under gifting, shopping, thrifty tips [...]