It’s not personal; it’s business.
I don’t have a mantra for my job, per se, but if I had been given one as a new hire, this would probably have been it: It’s not personal; it’s business. Remember that part in You’ve Got Mail where Meg Ryan chants it to herself over and over again? I believe she’s jumping and punching the air, too. The thing is: that was just a movie. And too, Meg herself admits (as Kathleen Kelly) that everything in life is personal. “All you’re really saying is that it’s not personal to you,” she says. “Well it was personal to me.”
Since starting my managerial role already-eight weeks ago (!) , I’ve learned a lot about the tough side of business. I’ve learned it the hard way, I’m afraid. I’ve learned it through trial and error and mistakes and bumps in the road. Each day, I get a little tougher, a little more calloused. Is it possible, I wondered yesterday, that this job is chipping away at my soul?
Example 1: My first crisis was a freelancer who wanted to push me around. I was new. I knew little about the company, my role, the style of writing. This freelancer (FF, let’s say) had been doing this type of writing for quite a while. This led to problems. FF was demanding, accusatory, suspicious and high-maintenance. She tried to go over my head when she didn’t like my decisions. She wanted special treatment, more money, more work. If she didn’t get what she wanted, I’d be e-mailed and called. My co-worker would be e-mailed and called. Other company employees would get involved. A lot of drama that I didn’t need= my asking Boss what I should do. His advice? cut her loose.
The only problem was that FF needed the income. She told me she needed the income. Repeatedly, she told me. I was hesitant because I did feel bad for her. But I genuinely couldn’t handle the stress, on top of everything else that comes with this job. So silently, passively, I decided not to use her again. More drama came. More letters, more calls. Yesterday, the (I hope) final hate mail came. She said I was unfair, a bad manager, a poor editor. She corrected my grammar (incorrectly, I have to add). She told me, in bold and italics, that she hoped this would wake me up to the error of my ways. Closing with “God Bless You,” she ended the note.
I’ve been wondering why this bothers me so much. I don’t even know FF. She’s been a jerk to me from day one. Why do I care that she dislikes me? Why does it matter? This is business. It’s not personal.
But it is, though. When FF says her family needs the money and her son is sick and she depends on this work, it’s personal. When I’m called a bad manager, it’s personal. When my co-workers get involved and form opinions about me and my decisions, it’s personal.
My boss backs me up every step of the way. He is encouraging and helpful; he even goes to bat for me with situations like this. I like my job; I like what I do… but I wonder what the price is of my slow process to grow thick skin.
What happens to my heart?
Filed under 9-5, a deeper look at life, relationships, the everyday |
8 Responses to “It’s not personal; it’s business.”
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Gradgirl,
You did the right thing every step of the way. I would suggest that next time you confront the behavior before it becomes a problem. If someone tries to make it personal, stop and redirect the conversation to the business at hand.
In this case, you are her customer. YOUR needs should come first. Reward performance, not whiners. Reread your own Biblical finance 6 post.
There are plenty of people out there who are far worse off than FF that would jump at the chance to impress you and your company. It really sounds like FF was looking for a handout. She may have even been lying to you. The “poor me” and entitled attitude is rampant in this country. We are becoming a lazy society.
As for your heart. The fact that you realize that you are dealing with people shows that you still have one. Your ability to empathize with her situation is admirable but your feelings cannot have any bearing on your decisions. Your job is to get the best set of words to the printer, and to do that you have to have a writer who spends their time writing and not whining.
You can also look at it financially. Assume some billing rates:
You: $50 /hr
Her: $50/hr
Your boss: $75/hr
Now look at the time you have spent just dealing with her.
Emails, calls, letters: she spent 3 hrs this week $150
Your response: 2 hrs of phone calls, 1 hr responding to emails and letters and an hour talking to your boss about it.
$150 for you and $75 for your boss.
Thats a total of $375 of money wasted because this woman feels entitled to work for you.
Hope this helps.
Dan
Newport, RI
I had a similar revelation about a month ago when I did my first series of hirings for my company. I could tell that many of the people that came in for an interview really needed the job/money… and I really wanted to give it to them.
I guess I’m a firm believer that everyone deserves a second chance, and that here is some hope to be discovered out in the world.
Unfortunately, my boss quickly corrected any hiring suggestions I had made, noting my mistakes.
What I had to understand was that I wasn’t working for a non-profit, or some community based organization. I was in a company seeking profit… and having the right employees translates to company savings.
If I wanted a job helping people… then I had chosen the wrong career path…
Hi Gradgirl,
I am sorry you are having a tough time as new manager, but I think this is the rite of passage in entering management. My friend became a manager a few months ago, and was going through the same thing.
At the risk of sounding unsympathetic, but you can’t please everyone, part of being a manager is making tough decisions. You are making these decisions in the interest of your company, not yourself. (of course, within reason and legality)
If you continue to have doubts and don’t like the way it is working out for you. Nothing wrong with working for a non-profit.
What an awful experience!
I agree with GoldnSilver; you can’t please everyone, and as a manager you have to be the one to lay the law down and make those tough decisions.
I’m sure it will get easier in time. It took me a few months to adjust to the advertising contracts I had to deal with, and people constantly being late in submitting their copy. At first I tried to be flexible and squeeze their stuff in at the very last minute … but there came a time where I waited a few hours too long for their info, and I missed the printing deadline.
From then on, it was all business. They had to get their info to me by X date/time, and not a minute later, otherwise their ad would get pulled and scraped from the brochure.
As someone who has worked as both a freelance writer and an editor managing a pool of freelancers, I do sympathize with your plight. You have every right to make decisions based on what is best for you and the business.
However, I noticed you said that you “silently, passively” decided to cut this freelancer loose. I find that to be unprofessional. Stand by your actions, and have the courtesy to inform the woman that her services are no longer required.
I was cut loose from a long-term freelancing gig that I highly enjoyed, with no warning. The editor simply didn’t respond to my calls or e-mails. How would you feel if you were fired, but instead of your supervisor telling you, you simply showed up to work one day and your cubicle had been cleaned out and a new person was sitting there?
To the last commenter:
That’s pretty much what her argument was, too. The thing is, she was never an employee. She wasn’t fired. I didn’t clean out her cubicle. I just decided to stop giving her work, since she acted like she was employing me. I’ve been a freelancer too, and I have to say: I never expected work. As a freelancer, you are paid as you work, when they give you work–no matter how long they have or haven’t been doing so. That is the sucky side of it. At any point, there may be less or more.
To everyone else:
Great advice and comments. I agree that I need to suck it up and get over it. This is what it means to be a manager. Also, through this situation, I’ve realized how dependent I am on people’s opinions. This morning, I read something that made me remember I can’t please everyone (goldnsilver, good point!), and I decided to stop trying to. I’m going to keep working hard, doing what my boss asks me to do and what’s best for the company and trust that is enough.
I just saw this and your dilemma touched me. I worked for a nonprofit before returning to school. While I wasn’t high up on the payroll, I had to supervise several consultants and part-timers. One was my boss’s best friend. My boss had contracted her to produce a material for us that would be ready in 3 months. It kept getting delayed, and finally after a year we saw it and it was clear that it was not going to be what we wanted. Guess who had to make the phone call? Her husband immediately called me back and told me about their precarious finances, etc. The bottom line is that even in nonprofits, you may be helping people, but you have to focus on helping the people the organization serves.
Ultimately the amount we paid our errant contractor wasn’t my decision, so I was shielded from that side of things. But in a nonprofit you have donors who want to know that their money is going to the mission statement.
I also wonder about these issues in terms of corporate responsibility. How much leniency should a company give? My mom was once fired from her job, after a nasty divorce from my father (right when she needed the money the most!). Her bosses told her it wasn’t personal (it was personal to my mom), and invited her to lunch the day they told her (she refused). They decided they wanted to hire a young associate (my mom is a lawyer and went through law school late in life, this had been a part time job while we were still in school and my dad was the primary breadwinner). The young associate they wanted to hire could be worked hard to bring in a lot of money. Well they were a small business, and I guess have the right to do what they want to earn money. But it was very hard on my mom.
For freelancers/consultants I think the ethical issues are less than for employees. It seems to me that a freelancer knows that there is no guarantee, and should already have a diversified income base.
Just wanted to give you my 2 cents. Good luck with your new responsibilities.
Liz, I’m so glad you commented–both because you can relate and because you gave great feedback. That stinks what happened to your mom. I would hope that if a person were working somewhere a while, the bosses would have some consideration of the person’s needs.
Anyway, thanks for your thoughts. I appreciate them.