GoldnSilver: I love that we’ve got a discussion going on here. You make some excellent points, and I’m very inclined to agree with you.

Krystal: You sound just like my best friend. She and her husband are now happily married, and she promises it’s just different when you meet the right person. I hope so!

Maybe I’m old fashioned this way, but when it comes to dating, at least in the first little while, I like it when the guy always offers to pay. Half the time, I’ll insist on paying, and it ends up evening out 50/50 in the end … but the point is, the offer was there.

GradGirl, I feel your pain about dating. A few years ago before I met my current BF, it felt like I was having one crappy date after another. It’s so hard to put yourself out there and expose yourself … and get your hopes up … only to get rejected, or reject him. It’s awful. But sometimes it can be fun and the most exciting time ever, and those times where you meet someone and it just clicks … that makes it all worth it!

I think between 2 people (in terms of dating/relationship), it is not so much about being fair, but more about doing what is right, and showing respect for one and another.

Like I said it’d have been really nice if he insisted. Notice, I never said I’d not take my wallet out to pay for my share if he didn’t.

Also, we are talking about a date here, not a business interview. So, I think it’d be nice for the guy to show a little initiative that they are more than 2 separate entity that just happens to buy tea at the same time. By him insisting to pay for the tea (and it’s only tea), it shows that he has the grace and common courtesy to treat a girl appropriately on the first date.

Of couse, he doesn’t have to do any of that. That’s why we go on dates. To find people that we find a connection with. For me, if he didn’t even offer to buy me tea… He’s too far off for me.

I’ve been on a first date, (the guy asked me out). But I was the one who paid for both of our dinners. I never saw him again. I don’t mind paying for his dinner, I always bring enough money to cover for 2 people when I go on dates. He can choose not to pay for me, but I also have a right to form an opinion about him based on his actions.

Re: cook and clean. Again, this is why we go on dates, to find people that we are compatible with. Some people(men/women) like to do chores, some don’t.

FYI, I know how to cook and clean. But I don’t like cooking that much, just because don’t LIKE cooking. I don’t mind cleaning, I don’t trust anyone else to do it for me, because simply I don’t think another person understands what my idea of clean is.

I can’t ever figure out who should pay with dates. This guy I dated a few times insisted on paying for dinner every time and I knew he earned less. It was like pride or something to pick up the entire tab. I finally gave up and picked up the entire tab ($30).

But you’re brave for going on a blind date! It takes a lot of courage to put yourself out there. Give it a week like Dennis said - he could be playing it slow.

Matt: it is a low feeling, and it does stick with you. Why is that?

Dennis: he initiated it. Yeah, maybe he’s shy, but the message seemed pretty clear. I mean, enjoy your summer? I don’t want to be dense, you know? I get it.

Give it a week and see what happens. He could be shy, or he could be waiting for your to make the next move.

Who initiated the first date?

Good luck and chin up!

As the first guy to post, let me tell you my rule for paying the bills: whoever gets the bill pays the bill. Granted, I get the bill nearly 100% of the time on a date (weird how those waitresses work isn’t it?) but I wouldn’t even offer if the bill fell in front of my date for a change.

The only time that I didn’t get the bill on a date was when a waitress separated our bill without asking (and somehow this woman charmed me into paying for her half).

gradgirl: I’m sorry that you feel rejected. It’s probably the lowest feeling on the planet and it has the annoying tendency to stick with a person for longer than you expect.